4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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