well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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