before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize