I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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