I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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