we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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