you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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