shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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