The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
