You're earring is so big in my mouth
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
