im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
