For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
