Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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