put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize