he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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