So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
