If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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