Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
A bitchslap is in order.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
