i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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