Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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