no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
