dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
