You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
