The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
