I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
