What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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