Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
