whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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