Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
