Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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