Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
