he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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