"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize