i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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