either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
