Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Randomize
