If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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