I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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