But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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