You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
