i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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