I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
