I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
