It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
