You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
