is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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