Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
