u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
