i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
