let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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