I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Let's get the cat blown out
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
