O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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