if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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