so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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