so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
