i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
