do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
