With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
