Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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