I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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