Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just cut my nipple shaving
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
